Summer’s Men

Yo yo yo, it’s your girl Summer Snow~! Bringing you a new list fo-sho!
Yeah…  I should never try to be gangster.
Anyways, I can’t come up with a good intro for this blog, so I’ll just tell you that it’s a list of the top ten inventions that have made men totally useless (in no particular order).  So…  Enjoy! or something.



1. Ladders
Can’t reach the top shelf? No problem! The magical invention of the “ladder” has made men utterly useless.  Who needs their height and long arms to get that last jar of pickles when you can do it yourself? And let’s be honest…  most of them aren’t that tall anyway.
2. Books
Books are beautiful, beautiful things in that they allow you to enter another world full of joy and laughter and HOT MEN.  Seriously, books allow you to “date” a man without having to actually spend time with him (I call it “lazy dating”).  That’s chiefly why Mr. Darcy is such a phenomenon…  that sexy beast is never as hot in the movies.
3. Movies
Movies have a similar purpose to books.  However, they allow you to enjoy a hot man without actually having to exercise your brain in order to do so…  it’s lazy dating the lazy way, if you will.
4. Chocolate
Face it- chocolate solves everything.  I swear, it’s made of magic.  Plus, there’s a reason “Better Than Sex Cake” got its name…
5. Cologne
Life can be depressing when you meet with your best friend for coffee only to see she’s wearing the dress shirt and tie of last night’s date.  Solution? Buy some men’s cologne, sprits it on yourself before going to bed, and meet with friends the next morning.  Let them draw their own conclusions…
6. Hobbies
Hobbies are wonderful! They keep you busy, therefore stopping yourself from focusing on how damn lonely you are.  Plus they can be fun…  Blogging FTW!
7. Adoption Services
Whether you (for some inexplicable reason) always wanted kids or just don’t want to disappoint your mother (who just bought her 10th “I Heart Grandma” item and was browsing online for an 11th), you need kids and lack the man to have one.  Luckily for you, adoption services have made men totally unnecessary! Just adopt your kids and raise them yourself…  goodness knows it’ll be easier than dealing with someone else’s opinion on how to raise said kids.
8. Sleeping
Sleeping is one of the most amazing activities EVER.  When you’re asleep, you don’t have to worry about your laundry or your loneliness or your laryngitis…  in fact, you don’t REALLY worry at all.  Chances are, you’re dreaming of a stroll on the beach at sunset with some incredibly rich and handsome man who adores you.  It’s times like these I envy those in comas…
9. Friends
No, not the TV Show…  although it is absolutely brilliant.  I’m talking about your physical friends who you can actually spend quality time with.  Friends are super handy for those nights you feel absolutely and totally alone, because they can make you…  not alone.  Also, if you really want to go out to dinner but don’t want to look like a loser sitting at a table by yourself, invite your friends! It’ll look more like a party than the scene from “A Hard Day’s Night” where Ringo goes off on his own…  that scene is the definition of loneliness.
10. …  you all know what this one is.
So there you have it…  my thrown-together-at-the-last-minute list of why men are useless.  USELESS, I TELL YOU!
Now I’m off to read "Pride and Prejudice” for the third time.  B’Bye!
Less than three,
~ Summer