Gender Dictionary...a wish-list from Sayuri

Have you ever had one of those conversations where you're sitting there with friends of the opposite gender and they branch off into a conversation in your native language, and yet you feel as though you're listening to some sort of strange, ancient, dead-for-a-reason language? I experienced that tonight. The topic of my demise? Four-wheelers/mechanics.
     For example:
                 "Yeah man, this one has 32s and a lift kit (HA know what that is thanks to Reg)."
                 "Yeah, but I like the axle and the somethingorother to do with grills"
What I caught:
                  "Yeah man, this one has 32s (the number that comes after 31) and a lift kit (the thing that makes Reg's jeep crazy tall and awesome)."
                  "Yeah, but I like the axle (a form of deodorant? oh wait, that's axe...) and the ________ (strange word that was slightly mumbled) grill thingymawhatsit (the thing that you peel dead birds out of on the front of your truck OR something metallic that rappers wear in their mouth)."

Yeah, the guys didn't make fun of me at all.
So for the gentlemen out there, don't make too much fun when the girls don't know what strange, archaic or alien language you are speaking. Spell it out for them... L-I-T-E-R-A-L-L-Y.
 For those of you ladies who know your four-wheelers and the mechanics, you're awesome. Share some of the knowledge with us less-fortunate gals.

 I suppose the gentlemen reading this who know what the grill thingymawhatsit, the axel, and the 32s are may occasionally like some insight into the mind of a female, or then again, maybe not. Either way, I'll throw some generalizations out there.
        "I'm fine.": 100% different from 'it's fine'. Sometimes the girl really is fine, and sometimes the girl is not fine and would like you to be a mind reader (yes, I know it isn't fair), realize that she isn't fine, inquire after exactly what it is that is wrong, and do something about it (either offer a suggestion, a shoulder to cry on, a hand to hold, or just someone to cuddle with for awhile til everything stinks a little less).
       "It's fine.": as in 'Hey, do you mind if I go out with the guys (omitting: again for the third night this week even though I was supposed to fulfill some kind of engagement with you)?' 'don't worry about it, it's fine.' NO it isn't fine. This is trouble my friend. Stock up on flowers and apologies now.
        
"Subtle" actions girls sometimes do*cough* FLYING BARN *cough* to let a boy know she is interested:
        (again these are GENERALIZATIONS and by no means apply to every female)

• Scenario 1: Jane is going to the store. Jane calls/texts/e-mails/facebooks/tweets (not all of those cuz that may be a touch creepy, but just like one...) John to see if John needs anything from the store. 
• Scenario 2: At that same store, Jane picks up a little trinket of some sort (like a snack food) that John likes so she has it to offer when John comes over to hang out. 
• Make excuses for physical contact (i.e. play fighting/wrestling, leaning during movie or similar circumstance)
• She asks questions about things that you like frequently. If she didn't like you, she probably wouldn't care that your favorite color is puce and you don't like your Aunt Marilyn because she smells of onions like the kind that made you vomit as a child. Trust me, she wouldn't. 
• She remembers everything you've told her. Even the most minute detail, like whether you like certain random foods (such as pineapple, avocado, or lamb), the names of your pets, or the name of the middle school teacher who gave you your first F, etc.
• She is interested and may actually pursue your interests, this is a good sign if she didn't previously pursue them before. For example, she may have an instruction manual for a four-wheeler on her desktop when she's never been on a four-wheeler before, or she may be looking up books such as "Farming for Dummies" because she wants to understand what makes you tick. 

These are (some) ways to tell a girl likes you, or what she means. Any specific questions, feel free to hit me up, and make sure to be on the look out for those flying barns.

                 Until next time,
                           ~Sayuri~

P.S. Still working on the whole "love" thing. I'll let you know when I figure it out :D