WHY ARE ALL OF THE PEOPLE I KNOW GETTING PREGNANT?--An Apostrophe by Sayuri

Dear Biology,
           WHY is it that all of the people I know are getting pregnant? If it's something in the drinking water, remove it. If it's because guys are more attractive than they used to be, put bags over their heads or birth control in the girls' hands. SOMETHING....ANYTHING...I'm not sure most of these people know what is involved in raising a baby. Yes, we're almost 20, but trust me, raising a kid is hard work. We'll see how many are up to the challenge.
         Merry Christmas,
                               Sayuri

Summer's Balance

You know those moments when your life takes a turn and you find yourself in a surreal world that can't possibly be your own life?

It's been happening to me a lot lately.

Last night I was driving to town when, about halfway through, I started wondering "why does this feel so wrong? Am I even awake? Where am I? Do I know how to drive?"

Yeah. Not something you want to start wondering when it's pitch-black.

Also, I've been falling down a lot recently. Losing my balance. And the other day I dreamed that Hurley from Lost was explaining economics to me on the island.

A coincidence?

I think not!

Anyways, today I had another of those moments.

A couple weeks ago, I composed a quartet. Since I wrote it for a university audition, I decided to show it to my teacher. After playing through it with only us two violinists, things took a bit of a weird turn. My piece is going to visit some people... many people, in fact.

My teacher decided that she would call up our local composer and musical genius (who, might I add, was something of a hero to me when I was little) and have him help me with it. My piece will also visit a conductor of the youth symphony and a cello teacher, both of whom will be asked to play it with me and my teacher so we can hear the piece in its entirety. Violin I, violin II, viola and cello.

I cannot tell you how huge this is to me.

I've never shown anything I've written to anyone besides family. Only a choice few family members at that. I've never heard it played by anyone other than my computer. I've never known if I would ever hear it played by anyone other than my computer. Then today...

I got to hear the two violins. Live. Together. Outside my computer, outside my head.

It was wonderful.

I still can't really believe it, it's all too huge for my small mind to comprehend. I just thought I'd let you know, since I haven't written anything for a while... so yeah. Good times.

I don't want you to get the wrong idea about this piece... it's not amazing at all. It's really not all that good. It could be adequate, I'm not really sure. Hopefully, it's adequate for an audition. We'll see, I suppose.

Well, I'll try to update more often! I miss you, my lovelies!

Less than three,

~ Summer

p.s. What did the snowman say to the other snowman?

p.p.s. Smells like carrots!

p.p.p.s. When I first heard that joke, it took me about 10 seconds to understand it. I'm a bright one, alright...

Susie Homemaker, Reg, Mother...it's all the same to Reg

I never realized how eccentric I was until my new roommates moved in.

I guess I should back up a bit and explain; I live with Salamski, my ex-step brother, in a duplex. He was denied unemployment and still can’t find a job, so I pay his rent.

Rather, grandma secretly puts money in my bank account so I may pay his rent.

Well, he finally wised-up to this save-Salamski’s-man-card scheme of grandma's. Thus, he decided to rent out his half of the duplex and live on the couch instead of being bailed out by two women.

Luckily our new roommates happen to be mutual friends of ours, so we get along well. This may be in part due to the “talkin’ to” Salamski gave them on their first night, when I, predictably, was in my room writing a treatise on the political development of Canada (all this “evolution not revolution” nonsense pushed my 1000 word minimum to 10 pages.)

It went something like this:

Salamski: “…and this is Reg’s coffee cup. Do not touch her coffee cup…all the dishes should be done promptly and put away, except for the coffee cup, which stays on the counter to the left of the coffee pot… Make sure you unplug everything and keep lights off and stuff, Reg’s kinda freaks out about that…she’s probably asleep right now, she always goes to bed at 9:00 but stays up ‘till 10 doing whatever…and you have to be really really quiet. She does not like noise. Do not make noise after 9.”

So I’m the crazy bitch who keeps everything clean and goes to bed early. They’ve taken to calling me Susie Homemaker. Or Mother.

Your butterfly,
Reg

Summer's Blague

Well, here it is.

Thanksgiving Day is upon us.

For weeks, I've been dreading this day like it was Justin Bieber's Christmas album. Now that it's here, though, it's not quite as scary as I'd imagined...

Thanksgiving, that is.

Justin Bieber's Christmas album will never cease to terrify me.

After all, who am I to hate on a holiday devoted to being thankful? When you think about it, Thanksgiving is one of the most beautiful holidays we have.

I actually wonder if other countries have similar holidays... They should! I know Thanksgiving was originally about the pilgrims and all that rot, but these days it revolves around many universal values:

Football, family, and food.

AND giving thanks.

Therefore, on this day, I'm going to take a moment to acknowledge all the things I'm thankful for.

1. Family

Whether you love 'em or you hate 'em, they're a huge part of who you are. I, for one, love my family. I'd be lost without them.

2. Friends

In the last few years, my life has become crazier than Willy Wonka (seriously, that guy's on something). No matter how bad things seem to get, however, my friends always manage to pull me through... Honey, Regette, and Sayuri get a huge shout-out and internet hug!!!

3. Inspiration

Recently, I've been finding a lot of inspiration... I think it's important to find someone or something that inspires you to go farther and try harder. Therefore, I'd like to thank Tom Milsom, Dean Moriarty, Elton John, Mika, Rudolf Budginas, and (of course) Daniel (Jurassic Park guy) for being my inspiration in your own strange ways. In fact, it was while listening to Elton John's "Funeral For a Friend/Love Lies Bleeding" a couple months ago that I officially decided to become a composer.

4. Coffee

How awesome is coffee? Most of my greatest moments happened while I was under the influence of coffee. I absolutely love it. Without coffee, I have no identifiable personality. Just ask anyone who's been around me when I HAVEN'T had coffee... of course, that usually involves me pulling a Jack Sparrow asking "why is the coffee gone?!" and running around madly searching for that heavenly brew. That's usually followed by my poor defense of "I'm not addicted, I just NEED it!" Yeah... coffee's awesome.

5. Hardships

Oh, the hardships. No fun, right? Well, without even the most minor of hardships, I wouldn't be as strong as I am today. Sure, I'm still pretty weak... but a bit stronger! Wow, it sounds like I'm talking about coffee. I have issues... but what I'm saying is that I'm thankful for everything I've gone through, because it's made me who I am today. It's given me a different perspective on things... dare I say existentialism?

6. This Blog

Did you know that the French word for "joke" sounds exactly the same as "blog"? I'm just waiting for the day someone comments with "your blog is a blague!" Anyways... yes, I'm thankful for this blog. It's been a lovely way of keeping Say, Reg and I in contact! Keeps us up to date and whatnot... and while we may not be the most consistent posters, when we do post it brightens my day.

I love you both very, very much and I hope to see you very, very soon!

I hope your Thanksgivings are wonderful and pie-full.

Less than three,

~ Summer

p.s.
coffee=love.
love=oxygen.
therefore,
coffee=oxygen.

Summer's Idea

OH, the drama.

This Occupy Wall Street thing has gotten way out of hand. Somehow, a group of people with no specific purpose or plan has attracted other groups of people similarly without purpose or plan, and these groups have attracted the attention of basically everyone.

Wow.

Therefore, after seeing one too many Facebook political arguments as informed as those of the majority of the protesters, I thought I'd throw my two cents in.

Actually, it's more like one cent.

Make that a piece of eight.

Anyway, I'd like to bring up a few things that are slowly becoming my pet peeves about these protests.

Truths and a question: A post by Sayuri

I should be working on my Japanese homework. I should be answering some questions for Elementary Health & P.E., I should be studying for my math test since I failed the last one with a 53%. But, before that, I have some sad realities, some enlightening truths, and a question to share with you lovely people.

Facebook Friends

Today, I tackled a feat SO large, it took over 3 hours....I went through all of my facebook friends, typed out every single name in a three column list (during creative writing of course lol) and I picked off some of them and...

Reg does love “bubble” metaphors

I overuse bubble metaphors, it’s true—however, they are usually effective in getting my point across..

Firstly, there is my personal space “bubble.” Perhaps due to being an only child, I do not like my space encroached upon in any circumstance (the only exceptions being my three closest friends and my father.)

Secondly, there is the larger “bubble” I live in—the bubble of growing up for 18 years in the same homogeneous country town, award winning school system, and middle class family.

Today I expanded the second “bubble.” (The first is hopeless, but I do try.)

Today, in atonement for the two bags of black licorice I dipped in 98 percent cacoa ghiradelli dark chocolate I made late last night, I went for a walk. I went for a 3 hour walk around where I live, and I finally know how to get where I’m going.

I should really stop being so nervous and just get on with my sad, sad life in my tiny bubble.

Your butterfly,

Reg

Sad Realities --Sayuri--

So, here's the thing.

Sexual assault at all is wrong. Violent sexual assaults are inexcusable.

When alcohol is involved, both victim and perpetrator are victims.

Yet, alcohol doesn't excuse the crime.

But, I'm sad. Saddened by the fact someone, I don't know personally but know of and have heard about for sporting things, ruined his life. He can't return to school. Can't play the game he clearly loved. His whole life, this tag will follow him, and it saddens me that his future is ruined. His employment, future relationships, future educational opportunities are all jeopardized by the assault he committed. I am sad for him. I wish we could go back, and change what happened, both for victim and perpetrator. We can't. We must continue on, yet, it has opened my eyes to the possibility of feeling sorry for the person who creates victims. Batterers, rapists, sexual assault doers, all of these people make decisions that ruin their lives. I can't imagine living with that lingering over my every move.

I don't really know what else to say. Make wise choices. The decisions you make today, can decide your future. It's a scary reality that we all must acknowledge.

And everything follows logically--if only in Reg's dreams

I haven’t thought of much to write about lately, so I’ll take inspiration where I get.

I always feel a bit weird finding inspiration from other bloggers (though I feel weird all the time anyway, so why is now any different) but translating my thoughts into a coherent blog post trumped awkwardness in this situation.

So sorry, random internet person who seems awesome--I’m not picking on you. You just said something pretty and I stole a small part of it to think on.

( I was going to use a metaphor then –to chew on—but I wasn’t sure you’d want the thought back after I chewed it up and spit it out…sorry, extended metaphor)

Well, anyway: mollymawkattack said—

“Choice is a dangerous word.”

Choice is a dangerous word—but only because it inspires false hope. Choice gives us the hope that we can control the greater part of our lives, when in reality, our choices are mostly irrelevant. Our options are the defining factor in our lives.

(I’m going to give poor and perhaps illogical anecdotal evidence now and go off on some pretty gnarly tangents, so bear with me, if you will.)

Reg's sad excuse for a joke

Challenge Accepted




'




Challenge Complete


Love, Reg


p.s. I'm kidding--I know what Sayuri meant, and I'll write an apostrophe later

10:21 am... it's later... thus I give you my apostrophe:

A challenge for Reg & Summer :)

Write an apostrophe.

   XD

         ~Sayuri

Watch It

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uFz61X2PQTw


The title says it all :)

          ~Sayuri~

A Letter to the Lovely Sayuri

My dearest, dearest Sayuri...

I cannot tell you how positively ecstatic I was to read your post!!! I very much squealed upon reading it, causing even the near cattle (who were previously standing like statues) to give me strange looks. That's how excited I am! I need more details, though!!! I need the full scoop! Heck, give me the whole carton! I can't wait until we're all together again and can discuss this in person... I'm considering making a pilgrimage to your side of the country when school gets out! Until then... I cannot possibly begin to tell you how ineffably happy I am for you! I can't WAIT for more details!!!!!!

Waiting on the edge of her seat,

~ Summer

p.s. I love you so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so much!

My Poem: Sayuri's strange sense of humor

Today in Creative Writing, our Professor told us we had ten minutes to write a poem. She gave us three options in case we were blocked but said we could write anything. I stared at the screen. Stared some more. And this is what I ended the 10 minutes with:

November 1, 2011

I cannot write a poem

I cannot find the words

Finding rhythm, rhyme, and reason

To me is quite absurd.

Instead I stare at this blank screen

And dream my day away.  

Seems  to fit lol
     ~Failure like Faulkner~ (look up the quote "I'm a failed poet" that Faulkner said...I don't think Faulkner is a failure. For those who don't know who Faulkner is...I encourage you to head to a library and read :)
          

In love with books,
                   ~Sayuri

I'm getting married...

Dear Reg & Summer,
   I do not see you as often as I used to or as often as I would like. As such, I use our blog to keep up with the day-to-day happenings of the wonderful world of you. So, this seems like an inappropriate way to tell you, but Tom plans on asking my father's permission to ask me to marry him, some time in the near future--the asking of permission, not the actual wedding. Naturally, when a proposal actually occurs, I will call both of you and we will talk and squeal...well, I don't know if we'll squeal cuz we generally do not unless it involves Starbucks :P .... Anywho, this new bit of information seemed pertinent and I wanted to let you two know that although it has not happened yet, there is a good chance it will happen within the next six months. You two are the most amazing friends and I love you both :)

        With all the love in my heart,
                      ~Sayuri~

Reg's life as a somewhat responsible adult

I’ve been having a terrible time thinking of something to post about, because everything I think of typing leads to a bitter rant about my ex. This in turns leads to the thought of a conversation I had with him a while ago, when I first told him that Summer, Sayuri and I had a blog.

He asked what we blogged about, and I replied something like “life.”

Then he said, “Oh, so you just complain then.”

This makes me wish I had something more to say than a bitter rant about him, because I don’t want him to be right. Though in truth he never read the blog even when we were together and I knew this, I still didn’t want him to be right. I cared very much what he thought—I guess that was my problem.

Anyway, I thought I’d list the awesome things that have happened in the last week.

A Gentleman and Three Ladies

This morning, a young (college age) man held the forum door open for two young ladies, let a young man walk out, and then held the door open for me insisting I go first. I wish more of this kind of old-world manners was present in the world today.

       ~Sayuri~

How the Daily Dust was born

It was a dark and stormy winter night.....all was quiet except for the quiet squeaking coming from the abandoned basement of the shared home of Summer, Reg, and Sayuri. Sitting in their victorian styled parlor, discussing the local gossip of the town over their coffee and cream puffs when lightening struck!! Screaming, they run to find something to put the fire out with. A moaning sound from the basement AND.........



We interrupt our usually scheduled programming to bring you an important announcement from out sponsors...


Are you allergic to BS? Do you feel like the above story is full of dog doo? It is! The truth is on sale now for the low low payment of three comments! That's right, comment on 3 daily dust posts (including this one so we know you're participating) and leave your initials and we will tell you how the daily dust came to fruition :)


Til then,
Sayuri

Some Sad Truths of Reg's

She uses skype to talk to her roommate when he’s in the other room.

The most intelligent question she’s asked this weekend was, “Are the letters on your keyboard in Russian or English?”*

Her idea of dressing for a night out involves nylons , ballet flats, and a button up short sleeve sweater.

When men ask her, “How you doin’?” she ignores them because it’s easier to assume they are talking to somebody else.

She has a nasty habit of glaring at strangers.

Her hobbies are the same as her grandmother’s—cooking, baking, sewing, reading,scrapbooking and coffee.

She can make moonshine.

She should just move on but she can’t.

She’s suspicious that everyone else knows exactly what they are supposed to be doing and she didn’t get the memo.

She always turns the key the wrong way first when trying to open a locked door.

*The answer is both.

Summer's Tents

So!

Yesterday, something very strange happened to me... I skipped school to look at college (I'm so cool) and managed to hit San Francisco and Monterey.

On our drive up there, my mom joked about if we met the head of the music department... then we quoted Gilmore Girls. Typical day, right?

Only thing is, when we went to Monterey... we did meet the head of the music department.

It was freaky. We walked into the tiny music building and the girl at the desk was like "let me see if he's in" and then we were just in his office, talking to him. It was so weird. I thought you had to make an appointment for something like that... needless to say, our "conversation" went something like this:

Him: Blahbledyblahbledyblah?
Me: Umm...
Him: Blahblahblahbedyblah. Blahblahbleh, blahdy?
Me: Umm...
Him: Blahahaha! Blahbedyblah.
Me: Thank you for taking the time to talk with me!

And... that's pretty much how it went.

Actually, that's an accurate summary of any conversation I have with anyone.

While the whole thing was just really awkward and I had no idea what to say, I actually learned something very important about the application process.

Apparently, I've been doing it wrong.

This whole time I've been worried about what uni would want me rather than about what uni I wanted. Apparently that's not the way to get a Ph.D... who knew?

After revising my research techniques, I've found four universities I'd like to apply to. Now comes the hard part...

To audition as a composition major for one of them, I must submit three completed and diverse compositions.

Three freaking compositions.

If I finish one, I'll be proud. But three? Kill me now!

Needless to say, the next few months to come will be incredibly intense. Intense, I tell you!

This whole process would be a lot more fun if it were done in tents... Get it? Intense? In tents? No? Hmm... maybe I'm a bit sleep deprived.

Anyway!

Speaking of the months to come, I have a question for my lovely ladies Sayuri and Reg. Are you doing NaNoWriMo this year?

I know Reg participated last year, but I don't know about Say... it sounds like something up both of your alleys! Selfishly, I'd love for you to do it since I'd love to read the finished products. But life isn't about you, Summer...

I had originally intended on participating, but it seems my coming months will be filled with a different kind of writing altogether.

So... are you participating? Let me know! If you are, link me to your NaNoWriMo profile.

If you aren't... I'm... sad.

Sign up here!

http://www.nanowrimo.org/

Less than three,

~ Summer

p.s. sorry this was such a boring post, but... yeah. Maybe this will help: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1GaKaGwch0U

"Reg doesn't want to be a crappy housewife"--a few of Reg's regrets about her life

The appropriate, mature answer to “Do you have any regrets in life?” or “If you could go back in time and change one thing about your life, what would it be?” is similar to “I have no regrets; I would change nothing because everything I have done has shaped my personality and I have done my best to learn from my mistakes.”

How do I know? The above was the thesis of my college admissions essays (though I paraphrased a bit.)

Is it true? Would I change nothing about my life?

Absolutely not.

Thus I thought, as I have not made a list in a while, I would share my favorite regrets (not the biggest regrets though, because that would be depressing…)

Summer's Oxygen

So, I think I might be lactose intolerant.

Naturally, I'm going off dairy.

That would be cool and all if I hadn't just found out that the side effects of going off dairy are almost exactly the same as having an intolerance to dairy.

So basically, I can't win.

I feel as though I was just told "you'll die if you breathe any more oxygen, but don't stop breathing oxygen 'cause you'll die."

Umm...

I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts, teedleedee. Here they are standing in a row...

Bum, bum, bum...

Less than three,

~ Summer

p.s. Yes, going off cheese is the equivalent of dying to me. Apparently, cheese is addictive. Who knew...

Summer's Impending Departure

Senior year.

It's supposed to be the most magical year of your life, isn't it?

Every school event is the last one you'll attend as a student. Think about it. As a senior, homecoming is your last homecoming. Winter Formal is your last Winter Formal. Prom is your last prom. Rallies, football games, and dances are slowly coming to an end. Also, every other class is obligated to like you and the teachers recognize you as the most mature class on campus.

It doesn't get any better, right?

Wrong.

Senior year is the most stressful, frightening, and depressing year of my life. Sound cynical? Let me explain.

Summer's Fork

Tonight I found myself watching chick-flicks on the couch while feeling bitter and eating frozen yogurt with a fork.

In some ways I am painfully stereotypical, and in other ways...

... I'm such a dork.

Less than three,

~ Summer

Summer's Lobby

Whenever someone says "Jesus" out of context at school, I imagine they're talking about Cheesus.

It makes their ridiculous conversations infinitely more entertaining!





So the other day I was at my mom's work waiting to talk to her, but it was super busy so I had to wait in the lobby for people to leave. After about ten minutes, I started to notice something strange... practically everyone entering or leaving the lobby gave me really weird looks.

"Well, I am just sitting here instead of getting in line..." I thought to myself. "I wonder why they think I'm here?"

This got me thinking...

WHAT do they think I'm doing here?!

I decided to solve this Summer style; a list of the top five things they think I might be.

Summer's Letter

Dear ex-string-trio-member...

I'm gonna be totally honest with you... I wish I knew your secret.

HOW do you get so many people to like you?!

I've been around you for my entire life, and I still don't get it. Any "conversations" had with you involve a lot of listening to you gab on about whatever might be going on in your life, or you complaining about how there's nothing going on in your life.

By the way, the near-hour car ride where you talked about how you don't have any real friends? Yeah. Thanks for that. I was running out of awkward that day, and you restocked my shelves with supplies to spare.

I'm not sure what I love about you the most... your extroverted awkwardness, your natural rudeness, or your unrealistic belief that you're the best at everything.

Honestly, when I think of all the things I've seen you do or heard you say, I can't imagine you having the popularity that you do.

Yet, you do.

Somehow, you managed to get everyone to think you were one of the "cool kids", as if things like that matter. You were the life of the party. You got everyone to think of you the way you think of yourself. I applaud you for that.

In the end, I'm extremely relieved that you're at university now... not just because you are states away from me, but also because you're going to have a nasty reality check over there.

Have fun.

Less than three,

~ Summer

Dear awkward high school crush, sincerely Reg

Dear awkward high school crush,

I wanted to tell you thank you for writing “I’m sorry” in my yearbook junior year—it made me feel wonderful about myself.

Reg:“I don’t know, but hopefully I figure it out soon.”

When I woke up this morning, despite the imminent math class that would consume most of my Friday, I knew it would be a would be a wonderful day.

That assumption was wrong.

Now I know that today was destined to make me want to have one of those dramatic, break-down-sobbing-in-the-shower-scenes. Except I don’t do things like that—instead, I drink seven cups of coffee and do my math homework.

The story I am about to tell is the in-between time; what happened after my optimistic start this morning and before the seventh cup of coffee currently burning the roof of my mouth.

Today's Fact :)

No matter how much you enjoy classical music, after 2 hours, you're ready to hop off the train....

        ~Sayuri

Summer's Boyfriend

So today was the first rehearsal of the new Youth Symphony season... it was also the first rehearsal of my musical career in which I played viola.

Let me tell you, sight-reading alto clef was just like trying to read Korean. Does not compute.

I just sat there staring, trying my very best to understand what was before me without any hope of actually doing so.

It was much like how I imagine having a boyfriend must be.

Less than three,

~ Summer

Backlog of Facts: by Sayuri

ahhhh as per usual I'm late!!!!!!!! Go figure :p lol it was a good thought though. So here are the facts from the last few days....

Friday: Saturday is the beginning of Banned Books Week! (No kidding, I stumbled on that on MSN on Friday afternoon lol)
Saturday: My college won their homecoming game! (Yay!)
Sunday: Marquis breakfasts are just a way to prove the cafeteria is capable of making good food....they just choose not to

ahhhh is it friday yet?!?!?!?!?!?: Today's New Fact

I would go crazy in a large college. Like Reg's, for instance. The idea of sitting in a classroom with 200 other people attempting to learn would be pointless, irritating, and a waste of money. I can't stand attempting to listen to a speaker (any speaker) in a large group, for an extended amount of time (45 minutes is BEYOND pushing it).

That's today's tidbit folks!

           ~Sayuri~

Summer's House?

Possibly nothing annoys me more than people who act like you have to go to church in order to be a Christian. I'm faced with this problem quite often because I always manage to attract SUPER Christian people. It's kind of weird. One time I was talking to this super Christian girl and she was like "so what church do you go to?" and I said "I don't go to church" and she said "wait. I thought you said you were Christian?"

Umm, what?

Since when do I have to go through an institution to be something I truly believe in? Saying you can't be a Christian without going to church is as ridiculous as saying you can't go shopping without going to a store.

I am perfectly capable of shopping online, thank you very much.

Anyways, the last few days I've been noticing I've been really, really sore. Randomly. Then today while driving home from school I noticed that every place I was sore appeared to be sore from driving. Randomly. So when I got home I told my mom and said "maybe I died in a car crash and nobody's had the heart to tell me." To this she said "maybe we're all dead." When I said "then this must be heaven" we both gave an automatic groan. Living in a place that constantly smells like cow poop, I certainly hope this isn't heaven. Cow heaven, maybe. If this is heaven, what happens when we die? Do we go back to earth?

In any case, I think this soreness stems from my being sick... again. This is ridiculous because I was just sick! However, in my pathetic state I've come under the strange belief that I want to be a part of pottermore. Yes, pottermore. Originally I thought it sounded a bit shit, but then I watched this video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jLrhHbU0z8M&feature=relmfu) and it all looked like such fun! Apparently you get an owl? Does this mean you get to go to Diagon Alley?? Does this mean you get to meet Hagrid??? Honestly, this site intrigues me. WHAT IS IT?!

Yes, I still love Harry Potter.

Who doesn't?

Honestly, we're the Harry Potter generation. Our kid's will probably have nothing like what we had, waiting for each book to come out. There were parties for the release... it was awesome. Never again! Never again.

Speaking of parties, Honey and I are at a loss as to what to do about Halloween. We've had our costumes planned for about a year now, but we have no place to wear them! Any time we talk to someone with a house, they always brush us off. Honestly. We don't need their house THAT bad...

We'll probably end up running through the sprinklers again, just like New Year's Eve. Sure, no one comes to said sprinkler parties, but that's only because they're scared they're not AWESOME enough. That's right.

Less than three,

~ Summer

Today's Tidbit: ~Sayuri~

Telling my boyfriend not to pay for something of mine is about as effective as practicing a dialog in a foreign language with a concrete wall and expecting it to answer back.

Failure & Learning: a post by Sayuri

Yes...I'm aware I fail at life LOL. Sorry about not posting yesterday, time got away from me--and boy does time run fast! So, to make up for it, I'll supply yesterday's and today's tidbit as outlined in a previous post.

       Monday: Performing basic locomotor skills (i.e. skipping, running, leaping, hopping, etc.) improves brain function and development.
       Tuesday: More people are fan of Zombie-Jesus Jeremiah than not a fan. (my college will once again partake in Humans v. Zombies in the spring....no I'm not kidding....yes, I wish I was.)

My Story "Reaping the Reward", Let me know what you think! ~Sayuri~

Reaping the Reward

“Will you please state your full name for the court?” a robotic voice asked in the hushed room.

            “Sylvia Mae Thomas.” I said clearly, suppressing a cough.

            “Thank you. And, Ms. Thomas, You entered a “not guilty” plea for one count sexual harassment, one count assault with a deadly weapon, is that correct?”

            “No.” I whispered back.

            “I’m sorry, can you speak up please?”

            Coughing into my elbow, I met the eyes of the woman, steel grey against brown. “I said, no. I would like to change my plea.”

            “To…?”

            “Guilty.” The objections of my lawyer were silenced by the resounding knock of the gavel against hardwood. Turning my way, the judge grimaced.

            “Please state for the court what you did.”

            “I chopped off my husband’s genitals,” a few soft gasps from the women and a couple of groans from men seated in the courtroom echoed in the wooden hall. Thrown off, I glanced at the bystanders, took a breath, and continued. “and I placed them in the garbage disposal,” more echoing groans of sympathy pain from the men, “and I flipped the switch.”

            The prosecutor blanched, her face turning the same alligator green as her heels. “How did you commit this crime?” 

A ha! A "lightbulb" moment for Sayuri: A post, by Sayuri :)

Hey y'all,
    So because I'm not exceptionally creative as of now AND I'm pressed for time almost every day that ends in -y, I have decided that I will post something new I learned every day. Some posts will be longer than other, some will just be basic sentences BUT at least it's something :)

            Until tomorrow,
                      Sayuri

P.S. Going to post the story I wrote last week.

The Girlfriend Code: A Post by Sayuri

"I'm alive!!!!!!!!!" Imagine that :p  Sorry I've been away so long, life got in the way :) SO here are a few things that I believe girlfriends do....

 1. Whether we have our own sweatshirt or not, we will always prefer yours and you won't always get it back. What can we say? We look good in your stuff :)
 2. We will say "Whatever you'd like" and sometimes we DO mean it. Sometimes, we don't.
 3. We don't like being squished.
 4. Honk at us to hurry and we'll slow down even more. (don't be a butt, be patient & we'll reward it later)
 5. Just because we don't like our hair, doesn't mean it's going to take us 83475728 hours to get ready.
 6. We can be patient too................sometimes.
 7. We love you. It's true. So when we say it, if you ever feel we over say it, just remember that one day, we won't be around to tell you & you'll be wishing it could be overused.

That's all folks!
       ~Sayuri~

A psychological study by Reg's roommate

I have never liked surprises. I enjoy being able to think through a potentially embarrassing situation beforehand, so I can minimize the effects of my social inhibitions.

Once, when I was about five years old, my parents told me I had to go to dinner with Daddy and his coworkers. My hair was curled, Mom dressed me in my best (cleanest) dress, and Dad gave me the instruction: “use your Florida manners” (my mother’s mother lives in Florida.) The combination of the aforementioned put me in a somber state; I knew this would be a “speak only when spoken to” and “Reg, stop putting olives on your fingers” affair.

Summer's Ramble

I have something to say.

A half-baked musing and questionaby-sane rambling from Reg

He seems to have stolen my ability to write.

I am not concerned by the loss of everything else he’s taken— my emotional range, my figurative innocence, my contentedness—but my ability to write is too much. Perhaps, to clarify, I should say not that he’s taken my ability but my gumption.

Nothing has moved me in a very long time.  This used to be so easy; everything had a story waiting to be told, and anything could be my muse. I still recognize the potential of the world as material for my half-baked musings and questionably-sane ramblings, but now I cannot be moved to write. I do not want to write.

Strange though, I would have assumed that now I would need to organize my thoughts on paper more than before. I used writing as a catharsis. If I didn’t write what I felt or thought, I would not know what I felt or thought. I could reach conclusions on paper that I wouldn’t dare to think about.

I do not have exceptional style, my spelling’s atrocious, my diction is adequate, and my syntax is unremarkable, but I am honest on paper. Only through the written word can I declare what I truly believe.

Thus, though I know it is futile, I beg for this piece of me back. I need to be able to trick myself into feeling every once in a while and I need to be able to express my thoughts to an apathetic world.

That is all.

Your butterfly,

Reg

Summer's Satire

The gentleman-ly skater boy came in again last night. While I made his drink, he said "I'm feeling goofy today so I'm wearing my hat."

His hat?

Red- and green-striped elf hat.

Yeah.

What do you say when someone points out one of the most ridiculous things about them?

In my case, you just hand them their drink and hope they don't break out into "Jingle Bell Rock".

Anyway...

Today's post is going to be the ridiculously long satire I had to write for my ridiculously annoying language class.

Deal with it.

"Damn girl, you should slow down"--Reg vs crosswalks

I never realized how inexperienced I was with this "adult life" thing until this morning.

Until this morning at 9:23 am, to be precise.

My day started with nearly being hit by a car on the way to class while trying to unsuccessfully cross a highway against traffic.

On my way back from class I was wolf-whistled at by a car full of men (bros, in Cinnamon's terminology. The ones that wear black socks and cargo shorts, salmon polo shirts and shades with neon frames.) I searched, perplexed, for the girl I thought they were calling at for a full minute before realizing there was only me. There is only me because I'm the one girl in my apartment complex stupid enough to take a three hour math class on Friday mornings.

Then I almost got hit by a car while trying once again to cross the highway before the annoying crosswalk voice told me I could. A friendly man in the car that almost hit me told me, "Damn girl, you should slow down."

Finally my only friend at UNCC, Leticia, wanted to go to the mall today. I have never used a bus other than for choir trips, so the nearly hour long ride was quite an experience.

And I haven't even had to transfer from one route to another yet.

I'm not sure how being a southerner and a city girl works for Leticia, but she does it with style.

Your butterfly,
Reg

Summer's Move

I'm moving tomorrow which means packing tonight. I've moved and packed many times before, but it wasn't until tonight that I realised how much of an adventure packing really is!

The Truth About Packing

1. You never know how many clothes you have until you try to carry them.

Seriously, it felt like I was carrying a dead body! Not that I know what that feels like, or anything...

2. You Discover Treasure!

Okay, maybe not treasure... but you do find things that you were too lazy to look for before. For example, I found my iPod on my bed under a pile of clothes. I've been wondering where it went...

3. You Feel Neater

Not in a "neat-o!" fashion, nor in a "scotch neat" sort of way. When you put all your belongings into various containers, you feel very neat and tidy. It's like "yeah, I CAN clean my room! Woot!"

4. You Find Awesome Clothes That You Half Wish You Hadn't Found

Take knee socks, for example. I didn't know I had any until I found them, but now I'm totally wearing them tomorrow. A part of me wishes I hadn't found them in the first place... but I can't resist!

5. You Find Things That You Should've Thrown Away Years Ago

... and you finally throw them away because you don't want to pack them. Packing is the best way to rid yourself of useless crap!

To be perfectly honest, I'm not exactly sure where I'm moving to... not permanently, anyway. I just haven't decided yet. What I have decided, however, is that it's better this way. I feel sorry for the kids that know exactly where they're moving and when, because they don't have any adventure. That's right, peeps, my life's got adventure.

I should sign off before I start quoting Sesame Street songs.

Less than three,

~ Summer

p.s. Adventure~! Our story's true!

Summer's Glare

This morning, I decided that today was the day that I was going to NOT glare incessantly.

It was working perfectly... perfectly, until AP Lang. More specifically, my AP Lang teacher.

Say you'll respect someone's hate of speaking up in class only to take back your own words, will you?

Oh yeah.

She's going down.

Less than three,

~ Summer

p.s. the sad thing is, that was at around ten in the morning. Ruined my glare-free day. Oh, I hate her even more now...

And it doesn't rain in the winter (well, like it does in the summer, at least)--a post by Reg

It is raining in the summer.

I suppose unless you are from a climate similar to that of the Central Coast of California, you won’t understand how strange this seems to me.

I’ve also been told it doesn’t rain  like this in the winter.

I know it should be unusual for me, but I rarely notice it. I don’t notice the differences. I don’t notice the oppressive humidity, the thunderstorms, the cicadas calling in the night, the rolling too-green hills or the red clay that sticks to my shoes as I walk. I can’t comprehend that my home is a very different place, far away.

Maybe too much air-travel as a child has screwed with my perception of distance. Perhaps it’s better I don’t feel the distance.

Your butterfly,

Reg

p.s. I miss you guys!

Best and Worst: Indie Music Edition

The other day, my boss asked me if my parents were really strict with my driving. "Not really," I said. "Oh, it's probably because you're the youngest. Parents are always the most strict with the oldest child," she said. You know what? She was right.

I remember the days when my parents would require my older sister to say where she was going when and with whom. By the time it got to me, the third kid, it was more like "Hey mom, Sayuri's picking me up to go to the movies and then we're gonna spend the night at Reg's house. ... mom? Mom, are you listening? ..."

Oh, how I love being the youngest.

Anyways, the radio station I listen to plays mostly acoustic-y, indie-type music. Calling itself "the perfect blend", it takes music from literally everywhere and plays it. Needless to say, there's a lot of JUNK. However, there's also a lot of awesome-ness! Therefore, I'm going to take this time to introduce you to some songs to give a listen and some to avoid like the plague. You're welcome.

Best and Worst: Indie Music Edition

Best:

- The Decemberists: "This Is Why We Fight"

Oh, the Decemberists. One of the best bands, in my opinion. I love almost all of their songs, but this one has been on the radio a lot recently and it's just so good. I think it's the kind of song that anyone could like, and most would understand. Five stars!

- Maia Sharp: "Death By Perfection"

Strangely enough, my mom introduced me to this song. I saw the lyrics on her bulletin board and asked about them, as that board is usually reserved for inspirational quotes and whatnot. It wasn't until recently that I actually heard it. Of course, this is a very hipster, "pave paradise"-y song... nonetheless, I like it!

- Mumford & Sons: "The Cave"

Such a good song. I first heard it on a cd my sister made for me, and I love it. I always get so happy when it plays on the radio. Mumford & Sons have an incredible folksy, honest sound. This song is no exception!

- The Kooks: "Naive"

This song is nothing new, but I still love it. What's not to love? They're british, for goodness sake! I love pretty much anything by the Kooks... also, this song played at the end of "17 Again". Hmm. Random.

Worst:

- Adele: "Rumour Has It"

Oh my goodness... this song. It's my worst nightmare. Actually, I take that back. It's my dream come true, as it's a song I can actually play on the guitar. See, I only know one chord. Luckily, this song requires hardly more than one chord, so it's very much in my league! Honestly... whenever this song comes on, I want to bang my head with a pipe, but only if the resulting vibration doesn't create a "d". Almost the entire song is in d minor, and almost the entire song uses those "oohs". It all sounds the same. The only interesting part is in the middle, when it starts sounding like something. Then it goes back. Kill me now. Honestly, it wouldn't bug me so much if I didn't know Adele was capable of MUCH better music.

- Shemekia Copeland: "Who Stole My Radio?"

Three words: Who. F*cking. Cares.

- Ray Charles: "Every Saturday Night"

A wise sister once called this the first draft of Rebecca Black's "Friday". That is the best way to describe this song.

- SuperHeavy: "Miracle Worker"

Awful, awful song. Every once in a while, I'll catch myself singing along with the chorus and I feel very, very ashamed. Honestly. This song is so obnoxious.

B-bye.

Best and Worst: Clothing Edition

All the students are herded like cattle,

All the students are herded like cattle.

Most of them are high as an elephant's eye,

and they're all so ignorant, I feel I could die...

Oklahoma parodies for the win.

Have you ever walked around campus and thought "oh my... who let you out of the house wearing that?!" Well, it happens to me all the time. Because of this, I've constructed a new segment of the Daily Dust called "Best and Worst". This should keep me entertained for a while...

Best and Worst: Clothing Edition

Let's start with the worst, because that's more fun!

Worst:

- Bright yellow sweatsuit

That's right. A bright yellow sweatsuit. Bright yellow sweatpants with a matching sweatshirt. Plus, they were those really annoying ones from Victoria's Secret that say "pink" on the butt no matter what color they are. For some reason, that just bugs me. Someone has to break it to those poor sweatpants that they aren't pink, and it's not gonna be me. Anyways, I don't think Victoria's Secret ever intended the sweatshirt and sweatpants to be worn together! But alas... perhaps she thought dressing as a bee would help her understand photosynthesis.

- Brightly colored pants

The other day, I saw a girl wearing bright red pants and a guy wearing bright green pants. I think they should get married and name their twin daughters Holly and Ivy.

- Bright orange leg-warmers with flip-flops

No, you did not read that wrong. I legitimately saw some girl wearing this the other day. Don't get me wrong, I love leg-warmers! However, there's a time and place for everything... except bright orange leg-warmers. Those have neither a time nor place. and paired with flip-flops? I don't even know where to begin...

- Army boots without pants

This is a big problem. The other day in French the girl who sits next to me was wearing army boots with a dress. Umm... what? That makes absolutely no sense. Plus, they only went about half-way up her leg so it just looked really... awkward. When the teacher asked about them, she said "they're Doc Martens". Honey, I don't care WHAT they are. If you're not going to wear them with pants, don't wear them at all. The same goes for high-top shoes and uggs... come on, people. Use your brains.

- Tube tops with shorts

Bad idea. You may think you look hot, but to the rest of the world you look like you're trying WAY too hard. Especially when it was cold that morning.

Best:

- Blazers

I don't see many guys wearing blazers, but I saw a girl wear one the other day and it made me happy. Blazers are the best thing ever. I've always wanted one, so it's nice to know that they're not TOTALLY out of style.

- Sparkly TOMS

Okay, so these should technically be under "Worst", but... come on! Sparkly shoes?! It doesn't get much better than that. I saw a girl wearing some the other day and I kind of fell in love with them.

- Stripes

While the stripes fad is ending, I feel like there's definitely a lot of stripes still around. I love stripes on anything. I don't care if they make you look fat. I have more stripey sweaters and shirts than I'd care to admit, but what can I say? Stripes are awesome.

- Floral Dresses

Hooray! Flowers? Dresses? What could go wrong? Unless they're maxi dresses, that is. But assuming they AREN'T, I love floral dresses. They're so fun and cute and casual and girly... nothing could go wrong!

- NOT skinny jeans

Thank goodness. It seems as though regular pants are coming back in, which is a very good sign. Don't get me wrong... I myself participated in the skinny jean phenomenon. However, I really wish I hadn't. Skinny jeans are just a bad idea all the way around. That's why it's awesome that regular pants are coming back in! Yay!

B-bye.

Summer's Trade

I'm staying up past midnight doing homework and studying, despite the fact that I have a violin lesson and work tomorrow.

Why?

Because I have an AP class and an Algebra II test tomorrow, and don't fancy the idea of failing.

Why?

Because I want to get into college and get my Ph.D.

Why?

So that I can be a university professor.

Why?

So I can get some soon-to-be-meaningless pieces of green paper that I can trade for material goods.

Why?

Less than three,

~ Summer

The Ironies of Life: A post, by Sayuri

Sorry for the writing delay! After our rather interesting cross country move, I moved back into the dorms at my school and have been getting accustomed to the ideas of scheduling, homework, dietary changes, AND fun time management. Today, as I have homework still to do, I will keep this post brief and reflective. This is the irony of my life as of today......

        Educational Psych teacher: ".....................and I want you to make a blog about ________ (w/e the topic is going to be"
        My immediate thought: "But I don't WANT to write a blog! Why should I do this?!?!?!?!?"...next thought..."wait a sec....I already DO write a blog....but NOT for school....rawr." Yeah....ironically I don't mind writing in the Daily Dust (remind us to share how the blog got its name some time) but the idea of blogging for an education psychology class is unappealing, to say the least.

That's all for now folks!
          ~Sayuri~

PS I am taking a Japanese course this semester! Just thought I'd share that tidbit of information.

Summer's Facade

I know you.

You whip out your i-pod and listen to LMFAO or Lady Gaga. Maybe you actually like quality music.

However, I doubt you like musical theatre.

Don't try to deny it...

I know you.

That's why I'm taking this opportunity to link you to some of my favorite songs.

It's not at all because I'm lazy and have a huge paper due tomorrow.

Nope. This is definitely for your educational value.

1. Spring Awakening: All That's Known

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KJnwd-FsE4c&feature=related

I'll be honest with you. I don't care for this musical. Actually, it annoys me. Come on... a musical about sex? It seems like they were trying too hard to be edgy and modern. In any case, I do like this song. It's not life changing or anything, but I do like it.

2. Billy Elliot: Electricity

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n1Q08xO7Zsg

Oh my goodness. I love this musical. I love this song. I love Liam Mower. This morning my mom told me that if I save up enough money we might be able to see it in the spring... oh my goodness. My life would be made.

3. Next to Normal: Light

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pp_IFg-mjyM

This is one of my absolute FAVORITE musicals of all time, which is saying something. Given, I've never actually seen it performed... to be perfectly honest, all I know about it is what I've heard on youtube. Nevertheless, I'm in love with it. It was so hard to choose a song to put here, because I love all of them... I chose this one because it's so powerful. Of course it's powerful... apparently, it's the final song. Final songs are ALWAYS epic!

4. Les Miserables: One Day More

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IddP8AAIGTQ

This IS my absolute favorite musical of all time. I don't even know where to begin, so I just won't. All I can say is that if you don't love it, you don't have a soul. FACT.

5. Chess: Someone Else's Story

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EUUAK-fLFYU

Oh, what I would give to be able to sing this song... let alone like Lea Salgona. Seriously, this is one of the few songs I would actually love to sing. but alas...

6. Jekyll and Hyde: Facade

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=09VXUGeMRmE

I've always loved this song. It's so epic... definitely one of my favorites from this musical. I also love their epic top hats.

7. Rent: Seasons of Love

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JwJayC5sDIM&feature=fvst

I'm sorry... I know everyone loves this song. but come on... it's brilliant! Probably the best in the show anyway.

8. Dreamgirls: And I Am Telling You, I'm Not Going

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V3lTXB4t2so

Unfortunately, I couldn't find a recording of the original cast. Oh well. It's such a powerful song! I've been singing it since I was tiny... sadly, not exactly the same as Jennifer Hudson.

9. Evita: Don't Cry For Me Argentina

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g1yih-p6uiw

Yes, another too-well-known song. Sometimes songs are well-known for a reason. Also, Elaine Paige is one of my favorite singers of all time. She's amazing in any role I've seen her play. Genius! Also, she is NOT dressed to the nines. That dress was a very, very bad idea.

10. Sunset Boulevard: As If We Never Said Goodbye

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0WCwGM_Yusk

I bet you didn't know Glen Close could sing!

These songs were in no particular order, and they may not even be my favorite musical theatre songs of all time. However, they were the first ten that came to mind.

I hope you appreciate musical theatre a bit more now.

I equally hope that you now think of Chess as something more than "One Night In Bangkok". Seriously. That song isn't even all that good.

Less than three,

~ Summer

p.s. This song is the story of my life: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S7LHT0t2Uro Seriously. Sometimes it scares me how much I can relate to this character...

Potentially vs. Realistically

Roommate: “So, this kid’s school assignment is to find the difference between realistically and potentially. He asks his dad and he’s like ‘Dad, what’s the difference between realistically and potentially?’ and the dad replies ‘ask your mom and your sister if they would have sex with the mail man for a million dollars.’ Well, the son comes back and tells him ‘they both said yes.’ Then his dad says, ‘well, potentially we are sitting on two million dollars. But realistically we are just living with two whores.”

I’ve been taught education increases political efficacy. After one week of college, I have less faith in the government than before.

My first thought: perhaps the statistic doesn’t apply to Political Science majors. The most likely answer, however, is that it doesn’t apply to me. I’m paranoid, skeptical, and I am unsure as to why I declared a major to begin with (besides my favorite excuse—‘declaring a major will be fun!’) I feel my peers are more of the ‘I’m going to change the world!’ types.

In the vulgar roommate-speak I use when communicating at home, “Salamski, poli sci is mind f***cking me. And it’s not even a good f*** at that.”

My Comparative Politics textbook begins with stating that we are taught an idealized version of history. I understand that the history I have been taught is biased, but now I wonder to what degree the facts have been skewed.

My biggest question: are we exceptional? What does our liberal democracy have that the 37 others don’t?

I’m a bit disappointed in myself for actively wishing we were better.

I wish I hadn’t mindlessly believed everything I was ever taught. Then again, now that I think about it, how do I know I’m not being brainwashed by this institution as well.

Potentially, I would’ve made a better philosopher; Realistically, I’m just a bitter poli sci major.

A butterfly,

Reg

Summer's Sass

I love my job. I love my customers. But sometimes, things can get a little awkward...

Me: How's your day going so far?
Customer: Hahahahahahahaha!
Me: O...kay...

Seriously. How is a person supposed to respond to that?! Honestly, people...

In any case, school started for me a few days ago. That's right, my senior year has begun! Thinking back to my first years of awkward confusion, I couldn't be happier to finally be in the class that is thought to be "cool". Seriously. It is SO nice to be able to look down on my French 1 classmates without knowing they were my peers. However, I know that there are some perfectly nice underclassmen who are genuinely confused about how to ,get through this hell school. For these students, I have come up with three fool-proof ways to survive.

1. Be Tactless

If something comes to mind, say it. Scratch that; YELL it. Yelling random phrases will get people to notice you and, by default, like you. That's right. In high school, we praise the kids who say the stupidest things at the worst times. It's awesome.

2. Be Rude

Sass the teacher. Sass your classmates. Sarcasm is your best friend. Haven't you heard? Being rude is funny.

and finally, my personal favorite...

3. Be Quiet

If someone asks a question, just assume they're not talking to you. Ignore them until they say your name. If they have to work to talk to you, then they'll probably stop trying. While this won't get you any friends, it will also save you from talking to any overtly tactless or rude people. Trust me. This option will save your life.

There you are, folks.

Now all you entering freshmen can walk around campus with confidence, knowing that you can handle the next four years of hell school (also known as "high school").

Trust me...

It'll be bombastic.

Less than three,

~ Summer

WATCH: ~SAYURI~

click here!

A Quick Note from Reg on Collard Greens

“What about collard greens?”

“What?”

“Collard greens.”

“I don’t know what that is, so I’m guessing not.”

“You’re tellin’ me you ain’t ever heard of collard greens?”

“What is a collard green?”

“It grows out of the ground, you know, like a weed.”

“Can I smoke it?”

This was my conversation over dinner last night—real Southern food. Interestingly enough, I had never heard of most of the foods my friend mentioned. I have been informed I will never be a Southerner until I have real southern food.

I also need to learn when it’s appropriate to say “y’all.”

When will I ever learn how to be Southern?

Your butterfly,

reg

p.s.

"Collard greens are various loose-leafed cultivars of Brassica oleracea (Acephala Group), the same species that produces cabbage and broccoli. The plant is grown for its large, dark-colored, edible leaves and as a garden ornamental, mainly in Brazil, Portugal, the Southern United States, many parts of Africa, Montenegro, Bosnia and Herzegovina, southern Croatia, Spain and in Kashmir. They are classified in the same cultivar group as kale and spring greens, to which they are closely similar genetically. The name collard is a shortened form of the word colewort ("cabbage plant")."--http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Collard_greens