Summer's Back

So!

As most of you probably don't know, I've been at music camp for the past week and thus have been unable to post.

"But Summer," you say, "you totally did post like twice!"

Aha! Foolish mortals, I did NOT post! That was in fact Reg pretending to be me. Quite well, might I add.

In any case, I'm home and couldn't be more unhappy about it.

There is a place........~Sayuri~

There is a place, hidden deep within the recesses of my soul that houses my future. This picturesque scene is not realistic, not practical, and highly improbable...but it holds the essence of me. Hidden in this little valley between the crevices of what is and what could be lies a soft yellow house with a white porch surrounded by green grass and fields as far as the eye can see.

Reg and Summer's survey: What is the purpose of your existence?

I hate being serious almost as much as I hate attempting to be funny.

and despite this I thought I’d share a very informal, poorly constructed and biased survey Summer and I conducted—in an attempt to be both serious and funny at the same time.

The question: What is the purpose of your existence?

Sample: Well, we intended to ask every 3^rd customer in line—either at the bank or the coffee place— but then we remembered that we detest people (and yes, we have jobs in customer service.) Thus we asked only people we knew. To be more specific, we only asked people we knew and saw on that particular day.

My AP Stats teacher would be so proud of our efforts…

Sorry if anyone is misquoted…I’m doing this from memory because I’ve lost the list (meaning I’ve washed the list off of my hand since I wrote it there three weeks ago…)

Summer's Interview

Well, it’s time for a return to the list.

14. Interview an expert.

Who is this man?

Billy Love, the local player.

This man has dated nearly every eligible woman ( or not, he doesn't discriminate)  in three counties, yet women still want to be with him.

And of course the young men want to be him.

Summer's Omelette

“Bad eggs make bad omelettes”--Pascalrascal

I’ve ranted about music people.

I’ve ranted about bad dates.

I’ve ranted about camp.

Now it’s time for all three, stirred together and fried to create one bad omelette.

Music is an expression of the soul. It would be plausible to think that a place dedicated to the creation of music would be a fairly low-key, soul-expressing experience.

False.

Symphony is communism—no, not socialism—communism. All instruments are equal; some are just more equal than others.

I am a rehabilitated violinist, so I experienced the “more equal” part of symphony. Now, however, I am a violist. I like to equate the viola to the alto of the high school choir. My theory is that every single memorable composer dated either an alto or a violist, and she burned him real bad. Thus, altos and violas are doomed with the same three boring notes of the chord, over and over and over and over…

(Pachelbel had issues with cellos though. I suppose he’s the exception. )

It’s alright though. At least I no longer have to exhibit false passion while being the first chair violinist’s stand bitch (page turner.) Also, all the chill “how the f*** did I get here?” instrumentalists sit in the back.

Thems my peeps.

Well, yesterday an old frenemy of mine was going  to set me up with another instrumentalist. As I am not to partial to camp musicians right now (but  if you play the uke, call me) or men (see Reg’s very distressed posts about her immature, insensitive, douche-bag boyfriend,) this set up may not be the best idea at this time.

And the violinist and I went on some quasi-friends/acquaintance/wtf? Awkward date-like lunches.

Perhaps I’ll play the theme to Jurassic park during rehearsal tomorrow…

Less than three,

Summer

And then she was bitten, and that was the beginning. The beginning, of the END; a post by Sayuri

Oh dear. Here I was being practical. Pulling out a calculator (via the super savings calculator!) which said in order for me to save $20,000 between now & May 19th 2014 (my college graduation date), it would take $588.24 per month. All of the sudden, a down payment on a $100,000 home seemed completely doable, totally in reach...and then, my practicality was stolen away from me. I was bitten. Bitten by...

Summer's obnoxious friend Reg who posts for her while she's away...

One of Reg's favorites:

I suppose you all have read Regette's ode to April...

Surprisingly, this post didn't make me angry.

It made me sad, thinking about poor Regette thinking for all these years that April is better than March.

So, out of the kindness of my heart, I've constructed a reply to her blog explaining how all her reasons were...  Oh, how should I put it...  Wrong.

And here it is.

Top 10 reasons why March is better than April:

1. If March weren't "an entire month of school without a break", April would cease to be so special to you because it would no longer promise the long awaited Spring break.  Without March, April would be ruined.

2. Yes, March is mostly winter. However, winter is my favorite Season.  In fact, out of Vivaldi's Four Seasons, "Winter" is the most spectacular and awe-inspiring...  Even the slow movement! Also, you cannot use people with disorders to praise a month.  What about people with allergies? They are virtually screwed in the spring.  What about people with Narcolepsy? Due to spring break, there are more people on the roads at night and thus more people at risk of being hit by a narcoleptic driver.  Therefore, people with disorders are not effective evidence to prove a point.

3. St.  Patrick's day is not typically considered a religious holiday, while Easter is.  What about Jewish people? They don't get presents on Easter.  What about Jehovah's Witness children? They don't get to delight in leprechauns or the Easter Bunny.  Therefore, holidays are also not effective evidence to prove a point.

4. Are you insinuating that no murders have occurred in April? If I were you, I would do a little more research...

5. In March, you are blissfully unaware of whether or not you were rejected from colleges and thus can continue your daydreams of coffee at Harvard or reading in Yale's library.

6. I...  Have no problem with this reasoning.

7. Who freaking cares?

8. April needs a special occasion such as April Fools Day to make it special.  March, however, need only be March to be special.  March very much pwned.

9. I don't have T.V., and therefore don't care. 

10. There are less months until you die in April.

And there you have it.

Less than three,

~Summer.

The above post was in response to:

The Fundamental Attribution Error-Regette blames her luck on her personality

Just In case I've forgot who I am:

Define yourself- challenge accepted.

Do so in one word? Well…


(I hate to be a downer but...you know what a jump break means...)

*sigh* .... ~Sayuri~

Reg can do that weird "serious post" thing too, just not well

A favorite quote I share from my mother is: "How could I have raised such a bitter and jaded child?" This question says more about me than it does about her; what type of 11 year old girl looks her mother in the eyes and tells her she "doesn't believe in romantic love?" The answer to the latter question is that I am. The answer to the first, however, is a bit more complicated.

(I guess this is the part where I try to be serious and I hope I make sense)

32 Days....AHHHHHHHHHHHHH: a post, by Sayuri

It sounds obvious, but every day only happens once. This day will ever come around again, and each day is unique. I acknowledge that, however, I still find myself wishing that time would just speed up. I can't wait to be back at University with my friends, and more specifically, with Tom. I love my family & I enjoy spending time with them, but a large part of my heart is back at University, or at least in that general vicinity.  OH well........here is me shouting in frustration "AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

             For the next 32 days,
                       ~Sayuri~

33 Days...Breaking the Awkwardness Trend: A Post, by Sayuri

Ah, a serious post. How rare...just kidding :P We here at the Daily Dust do write serious posts every once in a blue moon.

Today, I am addressing long distance relationships............It is not original, and the following is nothing that will be earth-shattering to many of you.

My boyfriend, Tom, lives approximately one-thousand, nine-hundred, and ninety-seven point six miles away from me at this particular moment.

I am not complaining. At least, not really. Because Tom is one million percent worth dealing with the distance. I am one of the luckiest girls (if not the luckiest) in the entire world.

However, days like today make me

Awkward Hugs--Reg impersonates Summer poorly

                                If only I could wear Summer's style of clothes quite like she can...

Summer’s Stew

You’re welcome.

Question: Why are all the Daily Dust’s videos about awkwardness?

Answer: Awkwardness is a common affliction that the world should be exposed to.

Less than three,

~ Summer

What Reg Loves About the California Mid-State Fair

Working near the Mid-State Fair during fair-time is one of the best things about where I work. My average customer per day rate is 8.2, so I often need entertainment besides my usual occupation of thinking of how I've effed up my relationship. The Fair provides a variety of entertainment--and I don't even have to pay the 8 dollar admissions or eat deep-fried kool-aide.

Failing at Life: A "how to" by Sayuri

In case the title didn't fully suggest, I am admitting that (as of now) I fail at life. More specifically, I fail at...you guessed it,

It's "funner" to say "Arkansas" in Arkansas--Reg goes back to her "ruts"

Today I after I awoke, vulgarly insulted my alarm clock, and shoved the dog off of my side of the bed, I had a relization completely unrelated to the current happenings:

On August 2nd, 2011, I will have been in Arkansas twice in one year.

I will have been to Arkansas twice-- once was more than my fill of Wal-marts, cheap beer, poor grammar, and inescapable humidity.

Now, perhaps Arkansas isn't such a terrible place, but my perception of it is. My memories include being screamed at 6:00am in the morning because my door was locked and driving in a thunderstorm in an old Chevy that did not have windshield wipers.

There were a few good times-- like when tour guide Tanner told me "funner" is a word in Arkansas, or when I played "Highway to Hell" at my Aunt's wedding.

In reflection, Arkansas is one of those hilariously terrible places I've been. I wouldn't trade Arkansas for the world...well, to be honest if I'm swapping places I'll probably swap it for just about anywhere, so the idiom is meaningless.

ArKANSAS, I should say. It's "funner" to say "ArKANSAS" in Arkansas because the government tells me not to.
Your butterfly,
Reg

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Conversations with my mother always leave me feeling a bit less than normal...

Me: How do you know that I'm me when you don't see me?
Madre: ... I just know.
Me: But how would you know? You only know I'm me when you see me. Without seeing me, how do you know I'm me?
Madre: Because I believe in the existence of things.
Me: I would still exist, I would just exist as something else. Perhaps I wouldn't exist, but there would be no less existence in the world because I would exist as something else.
Madre: ...

***

Me: Evil is the root of all good.
Madre: *laughs*
Me: Really. Without evil, there would be no good.
Madre: That's true... but I wouldn't say that evil is the root of all good.
Me: Why not?
Madre: BECAUSE IT ISN'T.
Me: ...

***

Me: I keep meeting friends of the family at work... it's really weird. It must be a sign. I must be dying or something.
Madre: Dying? Why?
Me: Whenever I see a bunch of people from my life or people related to my life, I feel like I must be dying soon. It's like my life is flashing before my eyes through people.
Madre: ...

***later that evening***

Me: What time do we leave tomorrow?
Madre: 7:00.
Me: Sorry, I know I've asked that before... I feel like if I keep asking, it's bound to get later.
Madre: Nope, we leave at 7:00. You and your dad are leaving at 7:00 on Tuesday, too.
Me: Holy moly! It must be a sign.
Madre: A sign that you need to start going to sleep earlier?
Me: No! Remember what I said about the people at work?
Madre: Yes...
Me: I think the signs mean that if I don't start waking up by 7:00 and doing something during the day, I'll die without having lived a fulfilling life.
Madre: ... I don't think the two are necessarily connected...
Me: No, no! When you watch "Murder She Wrote", you learn that everything's connected! Building burning down? Murder that looks like an accident? Crazy letters flooding the town? Murder that looks like a suicide? ALL CONNECTED. Therefore, the two signs are DEFINITELY connected!
Madre: ... okay...

***

The sad thing is that all these conversations happened today...

Sometimes I question my sanity.

Then I realize that sanity is based on cultural perception.

Then I get bored of questioning sanity and watch "Murder She Wrote".

"Murder She Wrote" makes me question my sanity.

It's a vicious, vicious cycle...

Less than three,

~ Summer

How To Tie A Tie

If you, like me, have a service job, chances are you've had to deal with more than your share of a**holes.  In lieu of this, I've concocted a tried-and-true list of the top five ways to get rid of obnoxious customers.  Trust me, they work.

1. Aww, your baby's so cute! Can I give it a dog biscuit?

2. Sorry, we only serve pure bloods.

3. Would you me to refill your ugly mug?

4. Congratulations! You've just won a free assassination.

5. Sorry about the wait, I was busy writing you a list of the closest weight-loss facilities.  Did you want whipped cream on your drink?

And there you go.

Less than three,

~ Summer

Why Reg loves long-distance relationships--or rather, why Reg is trying to convince herself she does

I thought I'd share my favorite things about long-distance relationships, based on my own experiences.

When I am writing this, I would like to specify that I mean the sort of dysfunctional long-distance relationship I am in--not functional long-distance relationships like Sayuri's amazing parents. I love them dearly and I envy their dedication and devotion. I cannot include anything about their relationship in the list because I believe the only thing they like about long-distance relationships is their other half and the relationship. They don't aspire to the ultimate goal of continuing the long-distance relationship, but of being together again.

1: No PDA. Ever.

Is Justin Bieber Gay?

I've spent much too much time trying to figure out what to post about, so I decided to follow in the footsteps of some of my favorite bloggers and use their techniques of successful blogging. Here were my options:

1. Say Something Interesting About a Celebrity

Ringo Starr and the Monkee's are touring this year... really? Sometimes you just need to let go of the past.

2. Say Something Profound and Thought-Provoking

Time is timeless.

3. Mope

OMG tonight was the crappiest night of my life. Like OMG I'm gonna like post a dramatic facebook status now so that I can get some cheap attention. OMG. Like, soo totally crappy.

4. Give Advice

Brush your teeth three times a day, kids.

... or YOU'LL DIE!

5. Review Something

I highly reccomend IDC's new branch of Chill Pills. They work like a charm! Personally, I think you all should go buy some RIGHT NOW. IDC is my favorite brand now.

6. Write Something Witty and Amusing

"Success is overrated, friendship is underrated, and the best movies are R-rated."

No, I didn't make that up.

Yes, that is my idea of witty and amusing.

Deal with it.

7. Write a Walk-Through or Tutorial

Here's my tutorial for life: don't f*** it up. Instead, f*** sh*t up. There's a difference. That's all you need to know to survive. Shame the peeps on "Lost" didn't know this...

8. Say Something Too Cute For Words

Umm, no. That only works for Charlie McDonnell.

9. Write a Poem

Good- Good would cease to exist
If evil dissipated into existence’s mist.
Therefore, good is the result of a situation
And only feeds off evil and our sense of obligation

10. Write a Catchy Title That Could Give You Confused Blog Traffic

Hey, it was worth a try, wasn't it?

In the end, I decided not to pursue any of these options because there was not much to say in any of them.

Perhaps I will have something better to say tomorrow?

I wouldn't bet on it.

Less than three,

~ Summer

what is in a word?...Frustration. A post by Sayuri

So, my family of five is moving across the country. Not halfway across the country. Not three states away. We are moving across the ENTIRE country. Now, we are no stranger to moving, we have done it many times before, but I don't remember it being quite this daunting, taking this long, or being quite so stressful. Perhaps I was just too young to remember, perhaps we just are out of practice, but either way moving stinks. SO keep me and my sanity in your prayers this week and wish me luck.

      Looking for patience,
                                Sayuri

Summer's Ideal Man

I've made up my mind.

I refuse to date any man who doesn't dress well.

I'm not asking for a suit or anything, just a man who has good taste.

A casual rocker look, if you will.

Also, buzz cuts should never happen.

Neither should t-shirts.

If you think you fit the bill, call me! *awkward wink*

Less than three,

~ Summer

p.s. please be taller than me, sing, and play guitar. You should have a band, too. And have a witty sense of humor. And please, oh PLEASE, come to my camp in a couple weeks and fall in love with me!

p.p.s. I'm not asking for too much, am I?

Summer's Success

Some people spend their time achieving success.

I spend my time observing other people's success.

Still others spend their time destroying other people's success.

Reg's true love; besides coffee...and well dressed, older men

Charlotte

Who Would've Guessed the International Astronomical Union would have a sense of humor? ~Sayuri~

Example Excerpt:

Q: But if I want to, can I buy the name of a star anyway?

A: Sure, there are people who will be more than happy to take your money....

Q: Can you tell me who and where?

A: Sorry, we are a scientific organization, not a branch of the entertainment industry.  We cannot distribute addresses of enterprises selling fictitious goods.

Q: OK, I found a dealer myself; what will I get from them?

A: An expensive piece of paper and a temporary feeling of happiness, like if you take a cup of tea instead of the Doctor's recommended medicine.  But at least you do not risk getting sick by paying for a star name, only losing money.

Layman's Guide to Naming Stars

The following lists some frequently asked questions and simple, informal answers about naming stars and other celestial bodies (for more serious scientific explanations, see the theme Naming Astronomical Objects):

Q: Why don't stars get real names instead of these boring numbers?

Men are like blenders--Reg uses em-dashes and semicolons much too frequently and sometimes incorrectly

I never claimed I acted maturely.

This is one of those times when I definitely shouldn't claim I am.

(I think this is where I share something immature.)

Reg's never going to leave this bed--a lesson in post scripts

Today, I woke up at 1am.

Then I went to the airport and flew to North Carolina on my 18th birthday (which was suspiciously hassle free.)We rented a car and followed directions to the hotel near my university...

and got lost in the ghetto for an hour and a half due to crappy mapquest directions and road construction.

I am never ever leaving this hotel room again (well, except maybe Monday to go to the gorgeous University down the street.)

Nope. Not leaving.

Your butterfly,

Reg

My post scripts are a bit juvenile and lengthy, so I included a jump break.

Summer Is Annoyed

I am annoyed.

I'm annoyed that no matter how often I go to the grocery store, I never seem to have food in the house.

I'm annoyed that the weather is bloody hot.

I'm annoyed that I lost my camera cord.

I'm annoyed that my computer's speakers don't record audio.

I'm annoyed that I lost all my composition files when I got a new computer.

I'm annoyed that I haven't done any of my summer assignments.

I'm annoyed that I still suck at viola.

Most of all...

I'm annoyed that in a very short time, three of my best friends will be too far away and too busy to talk to me.

Reg mentioned today that I haven't posted, but to be perfectly honest I'm too annoyed.

You're just gonna have to find a way to deal with that.

Less than three,

~ Summer

p.s. I'm only this upset because I love you all. Metaphorical hugs?

Age is just a number--just because the state of California says she's an adult won't make Reg so

Today I cried for the first time this year.

No, I sobbed hysterically. I believe sobbing may be a side-effect of spending 2 hours on the phone with an airline.

What did I do then? I used the shameful tactic of calling my daddy while I was sobbing. Then my poor father used the shameful tactic of calling his mother because he has little experience with the mystery that is sobbing women (-fun fact-there has been a psychological study that concluded there was significant evidence that smelling a woman's tears reduced the levels of testosterone in men.)

Gram made it all better.

Tomorrow I become an adult. What then? Do I still call my father sobbing, begging him to fix my problems? Why has 18 been deemed a magical age where the adolescent me suddenly transforms into an adult?

Adult is only a word (its meaning merely how we perceive it...)* Turning 18 tomorrow will do little. I'll be the same person I am today, only with "rights"--to smoke, buy porn, join the military, vote, and the oppressive responsibility of being legally responsible for my own actions.

Well, 5 hours left. Wish me luck.


*Put that in your pipe and smoke it...Summer...just kidding dearie

It's almost SOMEONE'S birthday.............

I won't say who *cough*REG*cough*...but ONE of our writers here at the Daily Dust will be having a landmark/milestone/completely awesome birthday here shortly and I would just like to wish her a VERY AWESOME HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

        We love you Reg.
             <3 Sayuri

How To Choose A College

Gasp! Summer didn't title her post in the all-too-typical "Summer's _____" fashion!

OMG!

Yeah... I really don't care. Here's my alternative title: Summer's Advice.

Happy?

Good. Moving on to number thirteen of the list...

13. Write about common pitfalls. What are mistakes that beginners might make without knowing it?
This should be fun.

Back in the day...Sayuri's late night chatter

A note from Reg: I thought I'd repost one of my favorite posts from Sayuri, for I do quote it often.

I think this one will go out to all of the lovely ladies out there that are having issues with guys reading the "subtle" hints that we girls like to toss out there. The hints that say, very quietly, EARTH TO ______!!!! I LIKE YOU!!!! You know, that kind of quiet. According to a friend of the male persuasion, if we expect guys to pick up hints, they have to be "about as subtle as a flying barn.". Who would've guessed that the slight change in our tone of voice, which was kind of a "DUH" to us, would not even be registered by the male brain? Not I, for sure. So there you have it girls. Want to get a man to notice the hints you're throwing his way? Make a barn fly.

Aside from that, although I have yet to finish it--crazy slow internet--, I highly recommend the movie "Listen to Your Heart". It's a wonderful movie about a young man who wants to be a composer who falls in love with a deaf young woman. It's heartwarming and endearing, and the cast isn't too shabby either.

Til next time folks.
           ~Sayuri~

What I’ve gained from Dad’s girlfriends—Reg talks of words of wisdom from the less-than-wise and hairdryers

I love my father, dearly (with this type of introduction, a “but” is inevitable…)

But

He is a player, a man-whore, and a fish. Worse than all the aforementioned, he knows he embodies all of these and thinks it amusing.

Over the years, his whoring/playing ways have introduced me to many interesting women. Allow me to share a little of what I’ve gained:

Summer and Reg's video

Ummm....this may be hawkward.

Summer and I were just chillin' at my house and making lasagna (Honey too) and we both discovered that we had no idea what to blog about tonight. So we made a video.

Thus we give you "Hawkward dates with Summer and Reg."

Summer's Thoughts

I'm not sure if this post turned out the way it was supposed to... To be honest, all I did was put six different thought processes of mine into words. Here's what it was supposed to be:

12. Ramble. Just talk aimlessly and passionately about a subject. Be sure to set it aside and read it a day or two later to make sure it's relevant before you post it.

Well, I can tell you right now that this post isn't relevant to anything. As I said before, this is just a collection of some of my thoughts.

I hope you don't mind this little window into my mind...

Yes, I know that sounded lame.

Deal with it.

A monumental accusation...well, perhaps not, but Reg will address it anyway

I have been told that I think like a man.

Now, I’m not sure if the boy meant to compliment me or insult me. In hindsight I probably should have responded: “Well, you think like a woman.”

It makes me ponder though—do I think like a man?

Summer's Spaghetti

Hello, folks!

My room is full of bugs...

It's times like these I wish pokemon were real so that I could catch them and raise them into badass creatures that could fly me around the country. But alas...

The only thing left to do now is complete number eleven of the list!

11. Write a Top X list. For example, "top 50 ways to get blog traffic" or "top 12 hip hop dance moves".

Okie dokie!

Withhold the lovin'--Never take advice from Reg

In 18 years (minus 6 days) I have not the experience to offer advice on anything ( well, perhaps I could offer limited advice on choral music and banking. )

It'd be wise to never take my advice without a second opinion from an experienced person.

My most infamous piece of advice: "Withhold the lovin'!"

What Reg finally learned from her mother

I found a box, when going through some things I inherited a couple years ago.

This box, actually.

Anyways, in this box was 4 beer bottle caps, a half used package of cigarettes, a lighter, and some letters. The letters are no ordinary letters. These letters are letters from my mother to my father when she was 16 years old  and he was 19.

Have You Ever Felt....A Post for the Readers of Classic Literature by Sayuri

Have you ever had a moment where you swear you weren't in "today"? Like, who cares that there is a giant big screen television off in the background, black and making no noise, I am obviously living in the 19th or early 20th century, Duh. Yeah, I had one of those moments yesterday...and today come to think of it. I blame Reg and this is why.

Summer's Issue

I'm on number 10 of the list! Yay for double digits...

10. Examine a problem. Take an issue that people often get stuck on and go in depth into its causes and solutions.

I'm really glad that this is on the list, because there is actually a huge issue that I've been meaning to address. This is that of the common combination of boots/uggs with short shorts.

I've often wondered how such a useless outfit came to be... do girls really have freezing feet and hot legs at the same time? I have never fallen ill to this affliction, but apparently it's highly contagious.

Now, I don't want to seem like a hypocrite... more often than not, I wear ankle boots with a mini skirt. However, this is because I'm extremely self-conscious about my ankles, not because I don't know how to dress weather appropriately.

Since this is such a baffling issue, I've formulated several possible reasons for this common folly.