How To Tie A Tie

If you, like me, have a service job, chances are you've had to deal with more than your share of a**holes.  In lieu of this, I've concocted a tried-and-true list of the top five ways to get rid of obnoxious customers.  Trust me, they work.

1. Aww, your baby's so cute! Can I give it a dog biscuit?

2. Sorry, we only serve pure bloods.

3. Would you me to refill your ugly mug?

4. Congratulations! You've just won a free assassination.

5. Sorry about the wait, I was busy writing you a list of the closest weight-loss facilities.  Did you want whipped cream on your drink?

And there you go.

Less than three,

~ Summer