The Definition of Summer

Have you ever tried to define yourself? It isn't easy.  The other day I tried to define myself out of boredom and it was quite difficult to  come up with a single synonym for myself.  Not to mention I got a little distracted...

"What is 'Summer'? I hate summer, it's the worst season...  Especially without an air conditioner.  Maybe I should create a Native American Air Conditioner Dance to make one materialize before me! Or start living at my school...  How come the school can afford air conditioning but not teachers? F*** the institution!"

Clearly I have a problem.

No one else can define me either...  The other day one of my "friends" was trying to hit on Honey (which was fruitless for obvious reasons) by trying to say that "Honey" is a synonym for sweetness and such.  Then, out of social obligation, said frienemy said "Summer is a synonym, too."  When I asked "really, what for?" the reply was "for...  Summer."

This is not only a reflection on the lack of creativity in today's youth, but a very definition of what is me.  I, by definition, am a social obligation.  I'm a third wheel for 50% of the time and a way to avoid an awkward situation for 49% of the time.  The other 1% of the time I'm high on coffee.  I'm the one you talk about on a bad date, the one you take on what the other party wanted to be a date but you're trying to turn into a casual movie.  I'm the one you call over while you're being hit on by a loser, the one you expect to distract said loser with amusing anecdotes and an inability to flirt.  I'm the ultimate dorky small-town big-smile friend...  Just call me Joan Cusack to your Julia Roberts.

In the end, I decided that the best synonym for myself was "able"...  Yes, just like Hester Prynne.  I have the ability to shift the spotlight of awkwardness from you to myself.  I also have the ability to make air conditioners materialize out of thin air.

Require my services? Call me.

I work for coffee.

Less than three,

~Summer

p.s.  I now challenge you to define yourself in one word and explain why you chose it.  You can do it, Sayuri and Regette! :)