My mad, ridiculous dog. Oh how I love her so--Regette

Most of the time, my dog is an exceptional judge of people's characters. Except for the fact that, much like her owner, she goes crazy for any reasonably attractive man between the ages of 16 and 35. Nonetheless, most of the time she gets it right.

Like the time she tried to bite dad's 20-something stripper girlfriend. It was just a warning nip really. As if too say politely, "I don't really think things are going to work about between you and him." My dog, as usual, knew that she'd leave, and she did. A similar incident occurred with a totally smashed woman on Fourth of July.

Or when she sees my grandpa. She does not genuflect as when she sees my dad, but politely sits, waging her tail and waiting to be petted. With babies it's similar. They can pull her tail and even take the toys out of her bed, but she remains unusually docile.

So yesterday when I let her outside for her normal morning routine and she dashes down the road and circles the scary man hanging around the neighbors place, baying as if she'd treed a raccoon, I forgive her. Even though I had to sprint down the hill in my tie-dye heart shirt, sweatpants,  and waving clips in my hair (think curlers but slimmer and clip-like) shouting "Please do not try to pet my dog, sir, she's a biter!"

Your Butterfly,
Regette

P.S. My dog's mostly a lover. In the infamous words of Sayuri to my dog, "Keep your tongue in your mouth and your paws on that side of the bed!" Which is a useful phrase in any context, not only applying to my crazy dog.