This post is dedicated to my Sugar-poo-pumpkin-pie-puddin’-pop-love-um’s (Honey)- Reg

My fiancé (…let’s call this person Honey…) and I are tired of all these over-used clichés that are “terms-of endearment.” Just because couples are not usually capable of independent thought does not excuse us of unoriginality! I’ve heard "Babe" and "Sexy" more times than I care to count. To try and spark the creativity of others, I have compiled a list of all the endearments I could think of (instead of studying). I have separated them into the four categories that for some ancient and unknown reason are the only four acceptable categories that terms of endearment come from. Perhaps someone can benefit from the list and use the exotic “Mi Amor” or nauseatingly-sentimental “light-of my-life” once in a while, and give the “Babe”s and “Sexy”s a well-deserved rest.

Food related

Sugar-pie-honey bunch

Puddin’ Pop

Puddin’ Pie

Sweet Pea

Cookie

Sugar

Honey

Apple-of-my-eye

Sweetie

Sweetheart

Sugar Plum

Pumpkin

Pumpkin Pie

Animals

Pet

Love bird

Pigeon

*name* + poo

Poo bear

Fox

Kitten

Physical description

Angel

Beautiful

My lovely

My pretty

Cutie

Doll

Baby Doll

Symbolic depictions of love and marriage

Dearest-to-my-heart

My heart

My-other-half

Light-of-my-life

My light

My life

Love-of-my-life

Love-ums

My lovely

My love

Love

Love of my life

Dear

Dearie

Blessed -precious

Precious

Baby

Baby Doll

Mi Amor

After producing this comprehensive list of gushy, fluffy, love, I had to ask myself a few questions:

         Why is it that my “Pet” is alright, but my “B****” is not? Why not my “Okapi”?
         Why would anyone want to be called “Pumpkin,” which is a giant, bulbous squash?
         Why is “Lady” so creepy?
         Why is the only character from Winnie the Poo on the list “Poo-Bear?” Why isn’t it OK for me to call Honey “Kanga” or “Piglet”?
         Why “Pigeon”? They aren’t even cute.


The conclusion: Love turns ordinary, intelligent humans beings into oxytocin-doped morons that use nonsensical syllables and cheesy nick-names instead of the beautiful name his/her significant other’s parents gave them.

Make me a damn sandwich, Okapi!-
Regette "au contraire" Henesey