"Sleep is a symptom of caffeine deprivation."- Regette's one true love

I like my men like I like my coffee; strong, sweet, and hot as hell.

But I like my coffee more than I like my men. Coffee stimulates my mind and warms my soul with its embrace. Coffee and I never have an awkward moment. It can’t one-word text me and I never have to wait for it to call me. Coffee never tells me that eating doughnuts will make my butt big. If somehow coffee leaves me I can quickly find another, one that’s just as good as the first.

Coffee brings out the best in me. It cheerily wakes me up every morning. It keeps me awake during my classes and work. Coffee and I party all night with our friends without breaking the law. When I wake up in the morning I know it’ll still be there, waiting in the kitchen.

My grandma would never allow me to have coffee until I was 16. Now, I finally understand. I wasn’t allowed to date until I was 16 either. In my life, my past experiences have taught me not to believe in men. But, in the words of a wise-man, “Everybody should believe in something. I believe I'll have another coffee.”